HELLO—IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? WHAT PLANET IS THIS???

Job search in the digital age is not for the faint-hearted. It is a full-time job in itself. The process is very different from when I last embarked on a new career adventure. It’s a completely new world….

ONLINE APPLICATIONS

You would think that applying online would be a one-two-click process. WRONG!! Every time you apply you have to retype the same information. Even when the site does populate your resume, it never formats correctly and time is required to clean it up. Then you “SUBMIT,” into the Internet of Nothingness and hope that you have enough keywords matching the job description to make the cut.

WAITING GAME

Then…you wait, and wait, and wait. I’m a stickler for old-school follow up, so I stalk LinkedIn to see if I can find a recruiter, manager or some other executive at the company I applied for. I send a personal message…and I wait some more.

A RESPONSE!

After 25 online resumes, I get an email response!! We set up an interview—on the phone. The phone meeting seems to have gone well and an “in-person” interview is set for the following week. Progress!!!!

INTERVIEW PREP

The internal recruiter told me to research the company. Hello?! I always do that. I’m a professional. Who doesn’t do that? Apparently, a lot of people. I do an internet search, dive into their web presence, read articles and employee reviews. I’m ready!

TO INTERVIEW OR NOT?

While researching the company, I realize two things: 1) Geographically, it isn’t ideal for me. The company is based in lower Manhattan and will take me over an hour to commute there daily. With my kids being young, I frequently get calls from the school nurse—I need to be closer, if in the city, at least near Grand Central. 2) The company has a low subscriber base and not yet at a scale for ad sales. This would be like pushing a boulder up a mountain.

Notwithstanding the afore mentioned obstacles, I decide to go on the interview to learn, possibly suggest a consulting gig to help them ramp up, or see if work from home or flex time is possible.

THE INTERVIEW (or should I say, NON-INTERVIEW)

With the best intentions, I set off for the face-to-face interview. I get ready, get my kids off to school, and set out for NYC.

When I get to the train, I realize there is no parking. Oh well, I’ll risk the $20 parking ticket. If I get the job, I’ll be commuting earlier and parking won’t be a problem.

I get my train ticket, get on the train, and make my way into the city. I arrive on time and check my app to make sure I know the right subways. I jump on the 6 train. I get off at Canal and try to find the J train. No J, you have to go to the Center Street station. Above ground I go—and now, it’s raining, so I pull out my umbrella. My app is not working well in Lower Manhattan, so I ask to NYPD Officers, who send me in different directions. Now, I’m frustrated and it is getting late, so I jump into a cab. Big mistake!

Traffic is horrible. The light at Wall Street changes 4 times and we don’t move an inch. I pay the cab and try to run through downtown and find my way. I see the Staten Island Ferry Terminal and realize I have no idea where I am. I call the company I’m interviewing with—I have 5 minutes to get there. No answer.

I ask someone for directions and begin heading the right direction. I call the company again. No answer. Someone calls me back and directs me to the office. I arrive 5 minutes late. I hate being late.

The person at the front tells me my interviewer is in a meeting and offers me a seat. That’s fine. This gives me time to catch my breath and compose myself after the commute from hell. So I wait…

And I wait, and I wait.

While I am waiting, I have a chance to observe what is going on. There is a “sales pit”. No cubicles. Just open desks with telemarketers following up on people who signed up for a free trial subscription. This is what is called “dialing for dollars.” A lot of recent college grads start their careers doing this. It separates the weak from the strong.

I notice that all the sellers are young men in their 20s. I see only two women in the office and they aren’t on the phones. All these guys are wearing a uniform: jeans and untucked, flannel shirts. I heard that the workplace had become more casual, but WOW! OK, I won’t need to invest in work clothes. That’s a positive.

Then I notice something else. These kids make one call. They stand up, stretch, tell a joke. They go get a coffee. Make another call, talk about the March Madness, throw a ball. WTH?? This type of job requires maximum number of calls per hour. At this rate, they’ll be lucky if they make 25 calls all day! Not the kind of work ethic I’m used to.

Meanwhile, I have been left waiting in the lobby for 40 minutes without anyone acknowledging my presence. Shouldn’t the interviewer come out and let me know she’ll be delayed?

All of a sudden, a guy goes past me on a Razor Scooter. A SCOOTER?! And, I say to myself, “WHAT PLANET IS THIS?” Clearly, I’m not going to fit in here.

So, I take out my business card, and write “Thank you for the opportunity, but I do not think this will work for me geographically.” I hand it to the receptionist, ask her to give it to the interviewer. I walk right out of there.

By the time I get to the subway, the interviewer is calling my cell. I let it go to voicemail. She sent me a nice email, to which I responded gracefully, but clearly this was not going to work.

So—I am left wondering:

1. How do I fit into the workplace of today?

2. Was this just not a good fit?

3. Would you have stayed or left?

Tell me your thoughts…